January 21, 2016

I do not feel that way about you

"I'm really sorry", I said, after we had walked around a couple of blocks. It was snowing and we were both packed in thick coats and scarfs. The streets were mostly empty as it was after dark. "Don't worry about it", you said, "now I can move on". After we arrived back where we started, we gave each other a long hug. It was never the same after that. I struggled because our friendship felt ruined and you moved on to someone else.
I used to be good at making decisions, but it has gotten increasingly difficult for me. Afterwards I wonder for a while if it was the right decision. This was the same situation, but I know I shouldn't say yes if the feelings aren't there. Yet here I am, alone. That's OK though, but I feel alone as well.