April 07, 2016

When my mum said she wants me to be happy I choke. I do have happy moments, and I have moments where I don't feel, and there are some pretty sad moments. Because of all that has happened over the past years, little pieces of hope have been removed. There's always hope and always happiness but beside that there is trying to cope with things I didn't expect having to cope with when I was younger. When she says I keep people at a distance she is one to talk, as I can't tell them what's really going on, and although I really don't want to have others pity me, it is difficult sometimes to go on and act like nothing is wrong. Why would I let people close to me if the people closest to me can hurt me the most. I need to protect myself from that.

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